WEBVTT 00:00:05.730 --> 00:00:09.480 Paisley: Hi, everybody, Paisley imperfect back again with some 00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:15.750 more thoughts, if you will. We've been talking a lot lately 00:00:15.750 --> 00:00:21.000 about President Nelson's talk a plea to my sisters and about the 00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:24.360 different things that he has given us to work on in that 00:00:24.360 --> 00:00:30.030 talk, just to help us become the best version of ourselves. And 00:00:30.030 --> 00:00:32.340 one of the things that keeps sticking in my brain is the 00:00:32.340 --> 00:00:36.120 happy part, when he's quoting President Kimball, and he's 00:00:36.120 --> 00:00:40.830 saying that we will be drawing people to the church, because we 00:00:40.830 --> 00:00:44.880 will be distinct and different in happy ways. Excuse me. 00:00:44.900 --> 00:00:49.730 And the happiness part, I know, I've said that in videos before, 00:00:50.240 --> 00:00:53.390 the happiness part is the part that's the most difficult for 00:00:53.390 --> 00:01:01.550 me. And then, when I read that talk from SR ubank, turn on your 00:01:01.550 --> 00:01:05.060 light, there's something that keeps sticking in my head. And 00:01:05.060 --> 00:01:09.980 it's that quote, where she says, she says, Being happy doesn't 00:01:09.980 --> 00:01:12.650 mean to slap a plastic smile on your face no matter what is 00:01:12.650 --> 00:01:16.070 going on. But it does mean keeping the laws of God and 00:01:16.070 --> 00:01:18.590 building and lifting others. And I think that's where I stopped 00:01:18.590 --> 00:01:23.630 last time. But if I continue, she says, when we build when we 00:01:23.630 --> 00:01:26.720 lift the burden of others, it blesses our lives in ways our 00:01:26.720 --> 00:01:33.440 trials cannot take away. So I'm going to take both of those, I 00:01:33.440 --> 00:01:35.630 guess it's three sentences, I'm going to take those three 00:01:35.630 --> 00:01:40.610 sentences, and put them together. So the full quote, is 00:01:40.640 --> 00:01:45.980 being happy, doesn't mean to past. Oh, my goodness, being 00:01:45.980 --> 00:01:49.520 happy doesn't mean to slap a plastic smile on your face no 00:01:49.520 --> 00:01:52.910 matter what is going on. But it does mean keeping the laws of 00:01:52.910 --> 00:01:57.140 God and building and lifting others. When we build. When we 00:01:57.140 --> 00:02:01.310 lift the burden of others. It blesses our lives in ways our 00:02:01.310 --> 00:02:05.810 trials cannot take away. So notice that she didn't say, I 00:02:05.810 --> 00:02:08.720 think she chose her words very carefully. And she didn't say 00:02:09.110 --> 00:02:13.370 that it blesses our lives in ways that make our troubles seem 00:02:13.370 --> 00:02:18.290 lighter. She didn't say it, she didn't say that it would make 00:02:18.290 --> 00:02:23.570 our troubles go away. She said that it gives us blessings that 00:02:23.570 --> 00:02:25.640 our trials cannot take away. 00:02:26.930 --> 00:02:30.320 So I think that there are two major keys to happiness in that 00:02:30.320 --> 00:02:34.280 quote, The first is that real happiness comes from our 00:02:34.280 --> 00:02:38.840 relationship with God. She's talking about when she talks 00:02:38.840 --> 00:02:41.780 about keeping the laws of God and building and lifting others. 00:02:41.780 --> 00:02:47.150 That is how we build our relationship with God. It comes 00:02:47.150 --> 00:02:51.980 from it's the feeling right, happiness is a feeling. It's not 00:02:51.980 --> 00:02:55.430 something that is showing and flashing on the outside, it's a 00:02:55.430 --> 00:03:03.110 feeling. The second is just that What happiness feels like. So 00:03:03.110 --> 00:03:06.140 happiness is a feeling and then she tells us what it feels like. 00:03:06.320 --> 00:03:09.560 Happiness is that feeling that you get when you've done 00:03:09.560 --> 00:03:11.360 something good for somebody else, and you can see the 00:03:11.360 --> 00:03:17.150 effects of your actions. So think about a time when you 00:03:17.180 --> 00:03:21.920 maybe have helped lift somebody else's burden. How did you feel 00:03:22.040 --> 00:03:26.150 when they felt when they felt better? Maybe you have mourn 00:03:26.150 --> 00:03:29.480 with someone who mourned, comforted somebody who stand in 00:03:29.480 --> 00:03:39.020 need of comfort, that feeling of contentment. Maybe that's 00:03:39.050 --> 00:03:40.730 actually happiness. 00:03:42.200 --> 00:03:46.670 Think about it for a second. When have you been the happiest? 00:03:47.450 --> 00:03:53.450 And then think about when you've been the happiest? Did all of 00:03:53.450 --> 00:03:56.870 your trials just go away? Were you happy? Because you weren't 00:03:56.870 --> 00:04:00.380 having any trials? Has there any been? Has there ever been a 00:04:00.890 --> 00:04:03.950 point in your life where you didn't have any trials? Any 00:04:03.950 --> 00:04:08.030 trials at all? I cannot think of a time in my life when I was 00:04:08.030 --> 00:04:13.130 just like, Yeah, this is good. I got this. There's always 00:04:13.130 --> 00:04:15.530 something right. There's always a trial. There's always some 00:04:15.530 --> 00:04:17.120 sort of refinement going on. 00:04:18.440 --> 00:04:21.740 I looked up some other words for happiness. They were things like 00:04:21.740 --> 00:04:27.680 joy, bliss, contentment, delight, satisfaction, gladness. 00:04:27.980 --> 00:04:30.710 Of course, there were a ton of other ones. And I'm sure that if 00:04:30.710 --> 00:04:34.190 you translated it into any other language, there's probably 1000s 00:04:34.220 --> 00:04:40.430 more. But think of things like joy, bliss, contentment, 00:04:40.490 --> 00:04:43.130 delight, satisfaction and gladness. 00:04:44.690 --> 00:04:50.330 I'm starting to think or yeah, I'm sorry, I'm starting to think 00:04:50.330 --> 00:04:53.240 that maybe the world is confusing excitement with 00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:58.400 happiness. You have to be excited to feel happy, or that 00:04:58.400 --> 00:05:01.400 feeling that you get of excitement. That is, that's 00:05:01.400 --> 00:05:06.830 happiness, but it's not. So think about. Think about getting 00:05:06.830 --> 00:05:10.430 a new car. That's very exciting, right? I would love to get a new 00:05:10.430 --> 00:05:14.690 car, I'd be super excited to get a new car. But that's not 00:05:14.690 --> 00:05:18.590 happiness. That's excitement. Things times when I have felt 00:05:18.590 --> 00:05:27.680 happy are times when I have I feel the happiest when I've 00:05:27.680 --> 00:05:32.600 taught my kids something. And then they remind me of it later. 00:05:32.810 --> 00:05:37.760 Like, oh, that's what, okay, Mom, remember that one time when 00:05:37.760 --> 00:05:42.410 you said, Well, now I get it, it means this. And my heart just 00:05:42.410 --> 00:05:45.650 kind of swells a little bit like, yes, yes, we're getting 00:05:45.650 --> 00:05:46.610 this we're getting there. 00:05:48.950 --> 00:05:51.770 I've kind of lightly mentioned a trial that I have been 00:05:51.770 --> 00:05:55.040 experiencing for the past couple of months, a few different 00:05:55.040 --> 00:05:58.130 times. I had mentioned that may was really difficult. I was 00:05:58.130 --> 00:06:03.020 hoping June would be better. It wasn't. And I think I can talk 00:06:03.020 --> 00:06:11.420 about it a little bit more now. The short version. I have worked 00:06:11.420 --> 00:06:15.020 for a company that I just absolutely love for just a 00:06:15.020 --> 00:06:19.160 little over 14 years. I love what we do. I love our mission. 00:06:19.190 --> 00:06:24.110 Our vision is everything. I love everything about what we do. 00:06:27.350 --> 00:06:34.880 About five years ago, the company was split off this 00:06:34.880 --> 00:06:37.550 little branch and sold this little branch to a private 00:06:37.550 --> 00:06:40.160 equity firm, and I was part of this little branch that got sold 00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:43.910 over to a private equity firm. And the firm that we were sold 00:06:43.910 --> 00:06:49.100 to is great. They taught us new things. And we got to grow in 00:06:49.100 --> 00:06:53.840 new ways. And I stretched and stretched and stretched. My 00:06:53.840 --> 00:06:58.520 twins are also five. So right about that same time was when I 00:06:58.850 --> 00:07:04.160 was I had just given birth to twins. And I had a two year old 00:07:04.160 --> 00:07:12.020 so I had three under three. My older daughter turned to the day 00:07:12.020 --> 00:07:15.350 before I went on to hospitalized bedrest for my twins. And so 00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:20.510 they were, they were born and they were born about three weeks 00:07:20.510 --> 00:07:24.020 later. So she had just turned two and then I had twins. And so 00:07:24.020 --> 00:07:31.190 I had three under three. And postpartum is no joke that it is 00:07:31.190 --> 00:07:36.500 a real thing. And when I say that, I don't remember the first 00:07:36.500 --> 00:07:41.780 year of my twins life. I'm not kidding. I remember little bits 00:07:41.780 --> 00:07:45.530 and pieces of it. I remember taking as much maternity leave 00:07:45.530 --> 00:07:50.270 as I could as disability through the state because the company 00:07:50.270 --> 00:07:55.130 was still small and didn't have maternity benefits. 00:07:55.550 --> 00:08:00.290 And so I just was trying to do the best I could. I was working 00:08:00.290 --> 00:08:03.620 part time when I was working from home. And I knew I had a 00:08:03.620 --> 00:08:10.460 super sweet deal. I still feel very, very grateful and very 00:08:10.460 --> 00:08:13.730 blessed. For everything that the company did. For me while I was 00:08:13.730 --> 00:08:16.760 having my babies and finishing my degree, we had a lot of 00:08:16.760 --> 00:08:23.120 things going on in our household at that time. In probably the 00:08:23.120 --> 00:08:33.350 last two ish years, I've started to recognize that I am not 00:08:33.350 --> 00:08:44.180 keeping up. When companies grow, they like to grow fast. And the 00:08:44.180 --> 00:08:47.570 company was growing fast. And I'm kind of a kind of a hole 00:08:47.570 --> 00:08:50.570 filler, right? I plug holes. Wherever somebody needs me, 00:08:50.570 --> 00:08:53.030 that's where I'm gonna go and I'm gonna figure out how to get 00:08:53.030 --> 00:08:55.250 done what needs to get done, and I'm gonna get that done. And 00:08:55.250 --> 00:08:57.110 then I'm gonna go on to the next hole, I'm going to plug that 00:08:57.110 --> 00:08:59.060 hole and I'm going to plug the next hole and the next hole in 00:08:59.060 --> 00:09:04.100 the next hole. And over the last couple of years, something that 00:09:04.100 --> 00:09:09.800 is really exciting is that we have the the company has been 00:09:09.800 --> 00:09:17.840 able to build a team where there are fewer holes to fill. And I'm 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:20.870 really good at filling holes, but when there aren't holes to 00:09:20.870 --> 00:09:27.500 fill, what's left for me to do. And so I made a very, very 00:09:27.500 --> 00:09:33.860 difficult decision to move on and try something new. More on 00:09:33.860 --> 00:09:42.560 that later, I hope. But it has been a very, I mean 14 years 00:09:42.590 --> 00:09:48.350 longer. I've been through so many of my own personal my own 00:09:48.350 --> 00:09:50.270 personal life growth. 00:09:51.410 --> 00:09:54.590 I don't even think that that's a grammatically correct statement, 00:09:54.590 --> 00:09:59.540 but I've been through a lot in the last 14 years as every 00:09:59.540 --> 00:10:04.520 single one Have you had to I'm sure. So if you take that, and 00:10:04.520 --> 00:10:07.520 then you say, I've been through all of these things, and I've 00:10:07.520 --> 00:10:12.650 been supported and helped and lifted, and all, all of that, 00:10:13.190 --> 00:10:16.910 over that last 14 years, and to say, it's time for me to move 00:10:16.910 --> 00:10:20.690 on, it's a big deal. And it's something that I've really been 00:10:20.690 --> 00:10:25.490 struggling with. And the reason that I bring that up is because 00:10:25.670 --> 00:10:31.880 this is a really, it is a very real trial for me right now. 00:10:32.210 --> 00:10:34.250 I have other trials I can talk about, we can talk about 00:10:34.250 --> 00:10:37.550 infertility, someday, we can talk about faith crisis, someday 00:10:37.550 --> 00:10:42.140 we can talk about a whole list of other things someday. But 00:10:42.170 --> 00:10:45.350 this one is happening right now. And so it's really fresh on my 00:10:45.350 --> 00:10:54.470 mind. And I'm bringing it up, because this trial is not taking 00:10:54.470 --> 00:10:59.570 any of my blessings away from the opportunities that I have 00:10:59.570 --> 00:11:05.840 had to serve others during this time. Granted, I have been a 00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:17.270 little bit more self centered, maybe a lot more. I think it 00:11:17.270 --> 00:11:24.170 depends on who you ask. I've been I've had to take the time 00:11:24.170 --> 00:11:28.430 to process things, and make sure that I'm handling things the way 00:11:28.430 --> 00:11:38.090 that I should be. And so my my willingness, my ability, ability 00:11:38.090 --> 00:11:40.220 is the word I'm looking for. It wasn't so much my willingness, 00:11:40.220 --> 00:11:46.400 but my ability to be able to do things for others. I needed to 00:11:46.400 --> 00:11:47.840 fill my own cup first. 00:11:50.750 --> 00:11:55.820 But also, why I'm bringing this up is because it has given me an 00:11:55.820 --> 00:11:59.420 opportunity to see what real happiness actually feels like. 00:11:59.930 --> 00:12:03.110 Because through all of this, I've been able to take a step 00:12:03.110 --> 00:12:07.670 back and look at my daughters and be like, that's what's 00:12:07.670 --> 00:12:11.720 important. And when my oldest one teaches something to my 00:12:11.720 --> 00:12:15.530 younger ones that I just taught her the night before. I feel 00:12:15.710 --> 00:12:23.750 happy. I feel like yes, this is this is my real purpose. This is 00:12:23.750 --> 00:12:28.940 who I am. And so I've started to see glimpses of who I really am 00:12:28.940 --> 00:12:33.230 and who my Heavenly Father wants me to be through all of this 00:12:33.770 --> 00:12:38.780 turmoil that I've been experiencing inside. So 00:12:38.810 --> 00:12:42.830 happiness is not placing, pasting, I keep saying placing 00:12:43.370 --> 00:12:49.430 happiness is not pasting a plastic smile on my face. My 00:12:49.430 --> 00:12:54.380 happiness came from late night talks with friends, to help me 00:12:54.620 --> 00:12:58.730 find that stillness that we talked about before. It came 00:12:58.730 --> 00:13:02.870 from watching my girls teach each other and share with each 00:13:02.870 --> 00:13:10.040 other and play together. It came from being able to watch my 00:13:10.040 --> 00:13:13.340 husband be the most amazing dad in the world for those three 00:13:13.340 --> 00:13:23.210 little girls. None of those things took my trial away. But 00:13:23.210 --> 00:13:25.910 they gave me the glimpses that my Heavenly Father needed me to 00:13:25.910 --> 00:13:33.710 see. To be able to know that happiness isn't getting that 00:13:33.710 --> 00:13:39.920 spreadsheet turned in on time. That feels good. Getting that 00:13:39.920 --> 00:13:44.540 thing checked off of my list or getting that thing sent over to 00:13:44.540 --> 00:13:49.190 the publisher or that thing posted online or whatever it is. 00:13:49.700 --> 00:13:55.070 Those things feel good. It's an I still love doing those things. 00:13:55.070 --> 00:13:59.750 And I'm gonna find another way to do it. But they didn't take 00:14:01.700 --> 00:14:06.770 those were more of a satisfaction thing more of a 00:14:08.300 --> 00:14:13.280 What did what did we call it the other day? Remember that cycle? 00:14:14.690 --> 00:14:17.540 fulfillment, personal fulfillment, those things were 00:14:17.540 --> 00:14:27.050 fulfilling. And now, I'm looking for I'm finding, creating, I'm 00:14:27.050 --> 00:14:32.660 creating happiness, not excitement. My girls will tell 00:14:32.660 --> 00:14:39.620 you I am not exciting. But I am creating happiness for us. 00:14:40.380 --> 00:14:43.620 So there's another quote in sister Eubanks talk that I 00:14:43.620 --> 00:14:47.190 really liked too. She said there is an energy that comes from 00:14:47.190 --> 00:14:51.150 happiness and optimism that doesn't just bless us. It builds 00:14:51.180 --> 00:14:56.730 everyone around us. And that is becoming one of my new goals. I 00:14:56.730 --> 00:14:59.880 want to do things in happy ways because I want other people to 00:14:59.880 --> 00:15:04.830 feel happy. I want other people to be able to look at their kids 00:15:04.830 --> 00:15:10.350 and be like, that was really awesome. And feel that feeling 00:15:10.350 --> 00:15:16.560 because that is happiness. The new car is exciting. Having your 00:15:16.560 --> 00:15:23.370 kids or your husband, or just being able to feel of God's love 00:15:23.370 --> 00:15:26.610 for you, that is happiness. 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:33.840 Let me just close with this last quote from Sister Eubank. And 00:15:33.870 --> 00:15:37.500 she says, it's at the very end, it's the third paragraph from 00:15:37.500 --> 00:15:41.100 the bottom of her talk. Again, more time, turn on your light, 00:15:41.100 --> 00:15:46.140 October 2017. She says, I appeal to each of you to put yourself 00:15:46.140 --> 00:15:49.290 in a place where you can feel the generous love God has for 00:15:49.290 --> 00:15:53.970 you, generous love God has for you. You cannot put yourself 00:15:53.970 --> 00:15:58.170 beyond the reach of that love. When you feel His love, when you 00:15:58.170 --> 00:16:01.890 love him, you will repent and keep His commandments. When you 00:16:01.890 --> 00:16:05.310 keep His commandments, he can use you in his work, his work 00:16:05.310 --> 00:16:09.510 and glory is the exultation and eternal life of women and men. 00:16:10.350 --> 00:16:13.620 His work and glory is the exultation and eternal life of 00:16:13.620 --> 00:16:16.290 women and men. So think about that. If we are keeping the 00:16:16.290 --> 00:16:19.740 commandments, and we are repenting, he can use us in his 00:16:19.740 --> 00:16:25.470 work. And his work is the exultation and eternal life of 00:16:25.470 --> 00:16:29.730 women and men, exultation and eternal life, His work and His 00:16:29.730 --> 00:16:35.460 glory. So we can be part of that work and that glory, in bringing 00:16:35.460 --> 00:16:39.210 other people to the knowledge of their Savior, who has suffered 00:16:39.570 --> 00:16:43.050 everything so that they don't have to, it's not going to take 00:16:43.050 --> 00:16:47.070 their trials away, it doesn't take my trials away. But it 00:16:47.070 --> 00:16:51.960 gives me an opportunity to look to someone else for help. And to 00:16:51.960 --> 00:16:55.320 be able to find happiness, to see the little things, the 00:16:55.320 --> 00:16:58.830 little miracles that are around us every day, be able to see 00:16:58.830 --> 00:17:02.760 those things, recognize them for what they are, and allow myself 00:17:02.760 --> 00:17:05.760 to feel the happiness that comes from those things. 00:17:07.260 --> 00:17:13.053 Okay, I have talked for a long time, I'm going to stop talking 00:17:13.147 --> 00:17:18.941 now. And let you just ponder on those things and hope that you 00:17:19.034 --> 00:17:23.894 are finding happiness and whatever it is that you're 00:17:23.987 --> 00:17:29.594 doing. Take an extra look at a friend. Take an extra look at 00:17:29.688 --> 00:17:35.201 one of your kids. If you have kids or a spouse, a parent or 00:17:35.295 --> 00:17:41.182 grandparents. Maybe it's just a friend, take an extra look at a 00:17:41.275 --> 00:17:46.976 friend, how can you help them? How can you help lighten their 00:17:47.069 --> 00:17:52.676 burden, so that you can feel the happiness that our Heavenly 00:17:52.770 --> 00:17:58.003 Father has for you. Give it a shot, and tell me what you 00:17:58.096 --> 00:18:03.610 think. I've been trying it a little bit this week. And I've 00:18:03.703 --> 00:18:09.497 had some fun with it. This is a smile that I haven't had on my 00:18:09.591 --> 00:18:15.104 face in a while. It's not a plastic, painted on smile. It's 00:18:12.060 --> 00:18:15.401 Go find yours. And tell me all about it. I want to hear about 00:18:15.198 --> 00:18:21.085 the real deal. Because I finally feel like I'm starting to find 00:18:15.456 --> 00:18:18.852 it. Send it to me in an email, go to Instagram and put it in a 00:18:18.907 --> 00:18:22.084 comment Facebook, put it in a comment YouTube, whatever. I 00:18:21.178 --> 00:18:26.505 what happiness really is. And letting go of some of those 00:18:22.139 --> 00:18:25.371 would love to hear about it. Or most of the people that are 00:18:25.426 --> 00:18:28.822 listening actually know me. Just tell me about it. When we see 00:18:26.599 --> 00:18:32.392 other things that were personal personally fulfilling, but not 00:18:28.877 --> 00:18:32.164 each other at church on Sunday, or call me on the phone. I'm 00:18:32.219 --> 00:18:35.396 here. Thank you so much, you guys. I really appreciate you 00:18:32.486 --> 00:18:38.093 providing that sense of peace and happiness that my Heavenly 00:18:35.451 --> 00:18:38.847 being here. I know you've got plenty of other things to do. So 00:18:38.186 --> 00:18:40.710 Father has in store for me. 00:18:38.902 --> 00:18:40.710 thank you for being here with me.