Paisley: Hi, everybody, Paisley imperfect back again with some
more thoughts, if you will. We've been talking a lot lately
about President Nelson's talk a plea to my sisters and about the
different things that he has given us to work on in that
talk, just to help us become the best version of ourselves. And
one of the things that keeps sticking in my brain is the
happy part, when he's quoting President Kimball, and he's
saying that we will be drawing people to the church, because we
will be distinct and different in happy ways. Excuse me.
And the happiness part, I know, I've said that in videos before,
the happiness part is the part that's the most difficult for
me. And then, when I read that talk from SR ubank, turn on your
light, there's something that keeps sticking in my head. And
it's that quote, where she says, she says, Being happy doesn't
mean to slap a plastic smile on your face no matter what is
going on. But it does mean keeping the laws of God and
building and lifting others. And I think that's where I stopped
last time. But if I continue, she says, when we build when we
lift the burden of others, it blesses our lives in ways our
trials cannot take away. So I'm going to take both of those, I
guess it's three sentences, I'm going to take those three
sentences, and put them together. So the full quote, is
being happy, doesn't mean to past. Oh, my goodness, being
happy doesn't mean to slap a plastic smile on your face no
matter what is going on. But it does mean keeping the laws of
God and building and lifting others. When we build. When we
lift the burden of others. It blesses our lives in ways our
trials cannot take away. So notice that she didn't say, I
think she chose her words very carefully. And she didn't say
that it blesses our lives in ways that make our troubles seem
lighter. She didn't say it, she didn't say that it would make
our troubles go away. She said that it gives us blessings that
our trials cannot take away.
So I think that there are two major keys to happiness in that
quote, The first is that real happiness comes from our
relationship with God. She's talking about when she talks
about keeping the laws of God and building and lifting others.
That is how we build our relationship with God. It comes
from it's the feeling right, happiness is a feeling. It's not
something that is showing and flashing on the outside, it's a
feeling. The second is just that What happiness feels like. So
happiness is a feeling and then she tells us what it feels like.
Happiness is that feeling that you get when you've done
something good for somebody else, and you can see the
effects of your actions. So think about a time when you
maybe have helped lift somebody else's burden. How did you feel
when they felt when they felt better? Maybe you have mourn
with someone who mourned, comforted somebody who stand in
need of comfort, that feeling of contentment. Maybe that's
actually happiness.
Think about it for a second. When have you been the happiest?
And then think about when you've been the happiest? Did all of
your trials just go away? Were you happy? Because you weren't
having any trials? Has there any been? Has there ever been a
point in your life where you didn't have any trials? Any
trials at all? I cannot think of a time in my life when I was
just like, Yeah, this is good. I got this. There's always
something right. There's always a trial. There's always some
sort of refinement going on.
I looked up some other words for happiness. They were things like
joy, bliss, contentment, delight, satisfaction, gladness.
Of course, there were a ton of other ones. And I'm sure that if
you translated it into any other language, there's probably 1000s
more. But think of things like joy, bliss, contentment,
delight, satisfaction and gladness.
I'm starting to think or yeah, I'm sorry, I'm starting to think
that maybe the world is confusing excitement with
happiness. You have to be excited to feel happy, or that
feeling that you get of excitement. That is, that's
happiness, but it's not. So think about. Think about getting
a new car. That's very exciting, right? I would love to get a new
car, I'd be super excited to get a new car. But that's not
happiness. That's excitement. Things times when I have felt
happy are times when I have I feel the happiest when I've
taught my kids something. And then they remind me of it later.
Like, oh, that's what, okay, Mom, remember that one time when
you said, Well, now I get it, it means this. And my heart just
kind of swells a little bit like, yes, yes, we're getting
this we're getting there.
I've kind of lightly mentioned a trial that I have been
experiencing for the past couple of months, a few different
times. I had mentioned that may was really difficult. I was
hoping June would be better. It wasn't. And I think I can talk
about it a little bit more now. The short version. I have worked
for a company that I just absolutely love for just a
little over 14 years. I love what we do. I love our mission.
Our vision is everything. I love everything about what we do.
About five years ago, the company was split off this
little branch and sold this little branch to a private
equity firm, and I was part of this little branch that got sold
over to a private equity firm. And the firm that we were sold
to is great. They taught us new things. And we got to grow in
new ways. And I stretched and stretched and stretched. My
twins are also five. So right about that same time was when I
was I had just given birth to twins. And I had a two year old
so I had three under three. My older daughter turned to the day
before I went on to hospitalized bedrest for my twins. And so
they were, they were born and they were born about three weeks
later. So she had just turned two and then I had twins. And so
I had three under three. And postpartum is no joke that it is
a real thing. And when I say that, I don't remember the first
year of my twins life. I'm not kidding. I remember little bits
and pieces of it. I remember taking as much maternity leave
as I could as disability through the state because the company
was still small and didn't have maternity benefits.
And so I just was trying to do the best I could. I was working
part time when I was working from home. And I knew I had a
super sweet deal. I still feel very, very grateful and very
blessed. For everything that the company did. For me while I was
having my babies and finishing my degree, we had a lot of
things going on in our household at that time. In probably the
last two ish years, I've started to recognize that I am not
keeping up. When companies grow, they like to grow fast. And the
company was growing fast. And I'm kind of a kind of a hole
filler, right? I plug holes. Wherever somebody needs me,
that's where I'm gonna go and I'm gonna figure out how to get
done what needs to get done, and I'm gonna get that done. And
then I'm gonna go on to the next hole, I'm going to plug that
hole and I'm going to plug the next hole and the next hole in
the next hole. And over the last couple of years, something that
is really exciting is that we have the the company has been
able to build a team where there are fewer holes to fill. And I'm
really good at filling holes, but when there aren't holes to
fill, what's left for me to do. And so I made a very, very
difficult decision to move on and try something new. More on
that later, I hope. But it has been a very, I mean 14 years
longer. I've been through so many of my own personal my own
personal life growth.
I don't even think that that's a grammatically correct statement,
but I've been through a lot in the last 14 years as every
single one Have you had to I'm sure. So if you take that, and
then you say, I've been through all of these things, and I've
been supported and helped and lifted, and all, all of that,
over that last 14 years, and to say, it's time for me to move
on, it's a big deal. And it's something that I've really been
struggling with. And the reason that I bring that up is because
this is a really, it is a very real trial for me right now.
I have other trials I can talk about, we can talk about
infertility, someday, we can talk about faith crisis, someday
we can talk about a whole list of other things someday. But
this one is happening right now. And so it's really fresh on my
mind. And I'm bringing it up, because this trial is not taking
any of my blessings away from the opportunities that I have
had to serve others during this time. Granted, I have been a
little bit more self centered, maybe a lot more. I think it
depends on who you ask. I've been I've had to take the time
to process things, and make sure that I'm handling things the way
that I should be. And so my my willingness, my ability, ability
is the word I'm looking for. It wasn't so much my willingness,
but my ability to be able to do things for others. I needed to
fill my own cup first.
But also, why I'm bringing this up is because it has given me an
opportunity to see what real happiness actually feels like.
Because through all of this, I've been able to take a step
back and look at my daughters and be like, that's what's
important. And when my oldest one teaches something to my
younger ones that I just taught her the night before. I feel
happy. I feel like yes, this is this is my real purpose. This is
who I am. And so I've started to see glimpses of who I really am
and who my Heavenly Father wants me to be through all of this
turmoil that I've been experiencing inside. So
happiness is not placing, pasting, I keep saying placing
happiness is not pasting a plastic smile on my face. My
happiness came from late night talks with friends, to help me
find that stillness that we talked about before. It came
from watching my girls teach each other and share with each
other and play together. It came from being able to watch my
husband be the most amazing dad in the world for those three
little girls. None of those things took my trial away. But
they gave me the glimpses that my Heavenly Father needed me to
see. To be able to know that happiness isn't getting that
spreadsheet turned in on time. That feels good. Getting that
thing checked off of my list or getting that thing sent over to
the publisher or that thing posted online or whatever it is.
Those things feel good. It's an I still love doing those things.
And I'm gonna find another way to do it. But they didn't take
those were more of a satisfaction thing more of a
What did what did we call it the other day? Remember that cycle?
fulfillment, personal fulfillment, those things were
fulfilling. And now, I'm looking for I'm finding, creating, I'm
creating happiness, not excitement. My girls will tell
you I am not exciting. But I am creating happiness for us.
So there's another quote in sister Eubanks talk that I
really liked too. She said there is an energy that comes from
happiness and optimism that doesn't just bless us. It builds
everyone around us. And that is becoming one of my new goals. I
want to do things in happy ways because I want other people to
feel happy. I want other people to be able to look at their kids
and be like, that was really awesome. And feel that feeling
because that is happiness. The new car is exciting. Having your
kids or your husband, or just being able to feel of God's love
for you, that is happiness.
Let me just close with this last quote from Sister Eubank. And
she says, it's at the very end, it's the third paragraph from
the bottom of her talk. Again, more time, turn on your light,
October 2017. She says, I appeal to each of you to put yourself
in a place where you can feel the generous love God has for
you, generous love God has for you. You cannot put yourself
beyond the reach of that love. When you feel His love, when you
love him, you will repent and keep His commandments. When you
keep His commandments, he can use you in his work, his work
and glory is the exultation and eternal life of women and men.
His work and glory is the exultation and eternal life of
women and men. So think about that. If we are keeping the
commandments, and we are repenting, he can use us in his
work. And his work is the exultation and eternal life of
women and men, exultation and eternal life, His work and His
glory. So we can be part of that work and that glory, in bringing
other people to the knowledge of their Savior, who has suffered
everything so that they don't have to, it's not going to take
their trials away, it doesn't take my trials away. But it
gives me an opportunity to look to someone else for help. And to
be able to find happiness, to see the little things, the
little miracles that are around us every day, be able to see
those things, recognize them for what they are, and allow myself
to feel the happiness that comes from those things.
Okay, I have talked for a long time, I'm going to stop talking
now. And let you just ponder on those things and hope that you
are finding happiness and whatever it is that you're
doing. Take an extra look at a friend. Take an extra look at
one of your kids. If you have kids or a spouse, a parent or
grandparents. Maybe it's just a friend, take an extra look at a
friend, how can you help them? How can you help lighten their
burden, so that you can feel the happiness that our Heavenly
Father has for you. Give it a shot, and tell me what you
think. I've been trying it a little bit this week. And I've
had some fun with it. This is a smile that I haven't had on my
face in a while. It's not a plastic, painted on smile. It's
Go find yours. And tell me all about it. I want to hear about
the real deal. Because I finally feel like I'm starting to find
it. Send it to me in an email, go to Instagram and put it in a
comment Facebook, put it in a comment YouTube, whatever. I
what happiness really is. And letting go of some of those
would love to hear about it. Or most of the people that are
listening actually know me. Just tell me about it. When we see
other things that were personal personally fulfilling, but not
each other at church on Sunday, or call me on the phone. I'm
here. Thank you so much, you guys. I really appreciate you
providing that sense of peace and happiness that my Heavenly
being here. I know you've got plenty of other things to do. So
Father has in store for me.
thank you for being here with me.