Unknown: Music.
Paisley: Hi, everybody. Paisley, imperfect here again, and today
we are going to talk about families. Two of the things that
President Nelson charged us, women of the church with, number
one, strengthen children and families, and, number two,
protect children and families. And to be completely honest,
when I started to put together my thoughts for today's episode,
I actually wanted to talk about speaking up and speaking out.
But as I started looking into that topic, everything that came
up, at least immediately, was about the family. And so I kept,
I kept coming across all of these quotes about the family
and how we need to defend it, and we need to speak up and
speak out. And before I go any further, however, I want to make
sure that I am very clear every family is different. Every
family is different. Some of us come from broken homes. Some of
us come from multiracial or multicultural homes. Some of us
come from families that don't really feel like families. And
I'm not here to judge you or your family. That's not my job.
What I am here to do is share what the prophets have told us
about families and what our obligations and responsibilities
are as sons and daughters of an eternal family, sons and
daughters of our Heavenly Father. So you may remember me
saying this before, but it's worth repeating. It is
incredibly important for us to remember that the Prophet and
apostles are obligated to and responsible for teaching us what
the family is supposed to look like. It's part of their
calling. They are obligated to it and responsible for it. They
have to teach us those things or we won't know what to strive
for. The family structure had to come from somewhere. It came
from our Heavenly Father. They are responsible for teaching us
where it came from what it's supposed to look like and how we
can get there. Also, they have to teach us those things,
because that's what it's going to look like. Should we make it
to the celestial kingdom? That's what our Heavenly Father's
family looks like. So we shouldn't be surprised when we
get there. All of that being said, my thoughts for today's
episode are centered around another talk by President
Kimball. This one was back in 1980 and it's called families
can be eternal. I'll make sure that there's a link in the in
the video description at the very beginning of his talk, he's
pretty clear about his point. He says, from the beginning, the
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, has emphasized
family life. We have always understood that the foundations
of the family as an eternal unit were laid even before this Earth
was created society without basic family life is without
foundation and will disintegrate into nothingness. Therefore,
whenever anything so basic as the eternal family is imperiled,
we have a solemn obligation to speak out lest there be critical
damage to the family institution by those who seem to be
deliberately destructive of it. I think we all know who the
number one culprit is for being deliberately destructive of the
family, the very person who betrayed his own family before
this life and is now trying to destroy our families. And you
know, I had another thought as I was reading this, and I hope
that I can articulate it, because I hope I can articulate
it clearly it has the potential to be offensive. And I wrote it
down to try and help me as a global church, we strive to be
inclusive, and we should be inclusive, everyone is welcome.
Something to that effect is on our church. Signs on our
buildings, all are welcome. Everyone is welcome in the
gospel of Jesus Christ. It doesn't matter what you look
like, it doesn't matter what your circumstances. It doesn't
matter what your family looks like, and it doesn't matter what
kind of a circumstance your family is in, all are welcome in
the Church of Jesus Christ, defending. Think the
foundational and fundamental structure of the family should
not cause exclusivity. In other words, while it's important to
defend the core principles of family structure that should not
result in excluding or marginalizing others, if you if
you want to come to church and you are divorced and a single
parent, please come to church. We need you there. We need your
perspective. We need your voice. We need your opinions. We need
you. We need you there and in another way, just because your
family does not fit within the ideal family structure, that
does not mean that you are not welcome or included within the
church or within the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you are made to
feel otherwise, it is the mistake of the people there, it
is not the intention of the church or the gospel itself.
President Kimball noted many of the quote, many of the social
restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to
shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The
time will come. Remember this was in 1980 The time will come
when only those who believe deeply and actively in the
family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of
the gathering evil around us. So let's stop and think about that
for just a second because it feels contradictory to what I
said right before it. Yes, divorce is not ideal, but
sometimes it's necessary. Single parenting is not ideal, but
sometimes it is necessary, President Kimball and any other
apostle or prophet that I've come across, both as I was doing
research for this, and just in general, in my life, when
they're talking about defending the family, they're not saying
that those necessary situations are evil, or that you are evil
for being in that situation, or that you did something so
critically wrong to put yourself in that situation. Now, frankly,
some of you probably did. We all make mistakes, right? But not
everybody did, and that is recognized, that is known. They
are saying that while those necessary situations have to be
the way they are, we also need to protect the foundational
family structure, or our society in total, will decay to a point
that we can't come back from. They are trying to protect the
structure of the family as a unit of society. They are not
saying you are evil because you are a single parent or you are
evil because you got divorced. That's not what they're saying.
Another quote from President Kimball's talk, quote, We are
free to resist those moves which downplay the significance of the
family and which play which play up the significance of selfish
individualism, that right there, that's a president Kimball was
very eloquent in his speech, that right there is kind of is
the clincher is a one sentence summary of what I've been trying
to say. We are free to resist those moves which downplay the
significance of the family and which play up the significance
of selfish individualism. We know the family to be eternal.
We know that when things go wrong in the family, things go
wrong in every other institution in society. That's the full
quote. In that quote, he's not talking specifically about your
family or my family. He's talking about how the family
structure breaking down will cause other structures to break
down as well. What what he's, what he's talking about in that
one sentence, is the difference between the family as a unit, a
foundational, structural unit of society, versus the individual
as a foundational, functional unit of society,
you have the family, or you have the individual. So then he says
this, and this one, this is a little bit long. Bear with me.
He says, quote, our political institutions, parliaments,
congresses and assemblies, cannot rescue us if our base.
Sick institution, the family is not intact. Peace treaties
cannot save us when there is hostility instead of love in the
home. Unemployment programs cannot rescue us when many are
no longer taught how to work, or do not have the opportunity to
work or the inclination, in some cases to do so. Law enforcement
cannot safeguard us if too many people are willing, unwilling,
sorry, if too many people are unwilling to discipline
themselves or be disciplined, rising generations, who have
been taught that authority and loving discipline are wrong,
will not keep the Fifth Commandment honoring their
fathers and mothers. How can the rising generation honor their
parents if their parents have dishonored themselves,
especially by breaking the Seventh Commandment? In case
you're wondering, the seventh commandment is, Thou shalt not
commit adultery. Okay, so now thinking about it, just
logically in my brain, thinking about the family as the place
where we learn things like peace, love, harmony, how to
share, how to work, how to be a functioning individual. If the
family is where we learn those things, then it makes total
sense that the family is the is the foundational functional unit
of society, versus the individual who would then just
have to try and figure it out for themselves, or just do what
somebody else said, or do whatever they Want and cause
havoc for everyone else. And then President Kimball, as he
does, lays the responsibility right where it belongs with us.
He says, We genuinely welcome help, real help, from churches,
schools, colleges and universities, from thoughtful
men and women of every race, creed and culture, who care
about the family, but as indicated earlier, if the
supporting network of institutions does not function
adequately, then we will do our part anyway. There is no lack of
clarity in what the Lord has told us we cannot shirk. He has
placed the responsibility directly where it belongs, and
he holds us accountable with regard to the duties of parents
to teach their children correct principles and of the need to
walk uprightly before the Lord. And there is no substitute for
teaching our children by the eloquence of example. So
parents, we are responsible for teaching our children that is
our job, like literally our job. As soon as you become a parent,
you become responsible for teaching that tiny human how to
walk, how to feed themselves, how to do all of the things that
they cannot figure out as an individual on their own, from
the day they are born, they can feed themselves right off the
bat for like, a few minutes, but at some point, somebody needs to
introduce solids. Somebody needs to teach them potty train them,
teach them how to use the restroom, teach them how to
clean up after themselves, teach them how to share with their
siblings or with their friends, if only child, share with a
parent, share with their friends. That is the
foundational functional unit of society where all of those
things are supposed to be taught and learned in the beginning.
Okay, so we've been called upon to go back to President Nelson.
We've been called upon to strengthen and protect children
and families, and it's getting harder and harder because we're
having to defend the basic family structure. But President
Kimball gives us a pretty simple way to start, and this is still
kind of rolling around in my brain a bit, but he says, I urge
you to be diligent in recording your personal and family
histories in this let us be an example to others and reap the
benefits of stronger family units as we preserve our
heritage. So to preserve the family as a functioning,
functional, foundational, foundational, to preserve the
family, we need to preserve our heritage and explain how we do
things to those who follow. And apparently, right around this
time, right around 1980 there was a change of schedule, like
we just had that change of schedule, where we went from
three hours down to two hours on Sundays. And over the last few
years, quite a few, excuse me, quite a few of the quite a few
meetings have just gone away. We're encouraged to have fewer
meetings and spend more time with our families. Apparently,
the same thing happened right around 1980 I've only heard
rumors about. About how things were before then, I guess it's
not rumors. They're first hand knowledge, right? Used to go to
Sunday school on Tuesday and sacrament meeting on Monday, and
then had Relief Society out of I don't I don't know exactly what
that looked like, but apparently there was a schedule change back
there, back then, too. And so President Kimball said this. He
said, We hope our parents are using the added time that has
come from the consolidated schedule in order to be with
Teach, love and nurture their children. We hope you have not
forgotten the Need for Family activity and recreation for
which time is also provided. Let your love of each other, of your
family, be unconditional where there are challenges. You fail
only if you fail to keep trying. Please keep trying. Please keep
coming. Please know that you are You are welcome. Excuse me, no
matter what we want you in our churches, single parents,
divorces, we want you. We need you on Sunday and any other day
you feel like coming. None of our families are the same, and
we need them all. We need to learn from our differences, and
we need to share our strengths. That is what I uh, that's the
only thing that will change the perceived culture of perfect
families. That's the only thing that will change it is if
everybody's there and everybody's coming and
everybody's participating and everybody's just being nice to
each other. There doesn't need to be judgment in sacrament
meeting. That's not our job. That's the bishop's job. Let him
handle it. That's somebody else's job. It's not our job to
judge people who show up to our church buildings on Sunday. It's
not our job. So please come. We need you. We need you there. We
need your opinion. We need your voice. We need your experience.
We can learn things from you that we can't learn from anybody
else. So please keep trying. Thank you for being here with me
today. Keep learning. Keep growing. Be of good cheer until
next time. Thanks everybody.