WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.360 Unknown: Music. 00:00:06.420 --> 00:00:09.480 Paisley: Hi, everybody. Paisley, imperfect here again, and today 00:00:09.480 --> 00:00:13.320 we are going to talk about families. Two of the things that 00:00:13.320 --> 00:00:17.040 President Nelson charged us, women of the church with, number 00:00:17.040 --> 00:00:19.860 one, strengthen children and families, and, number two, 00:00:19.860 --> 00:00:27.020 protect children and families. And to be completely honest, 00:00:27.080 --> 00:00:29.960 when I started to put together my thoughts for today's episode, 00:00:29.960 --> 00:00:32.900 I actually wanted to talk about speaking up and speaking out. 00:00:33.380 --> 00:00:39.140 But as I started looking into that topic, everything that came 00:00:39.140 --> 00:00:44.740 up, at least immediately, was about the family. And so I kept, 00:00:44.980 --> 00:00:48.040 I kept coming across all of these quotes about the family 00:00:48.040 --> 00:00:50.560 and how we need to defend it, and we need to speak up and 00:00:50.560 --> 00:00:56.260 speak out. And before I go any further, however, I want to make 00:00:56.260 --> 00:01:02.220 sure that I am very clear every family is different. Every 00:01:02.280 --> 00:01:06.780 family is different. Some of us come from broken homes. Some of 00:01:06.780 --> 00:01:11.640 us come from multiracial or multicultural homes. Some of us 00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:16.500 come from families that don't really feel like families. And 00:01:16.560 --> 00:01:20.960 I'm not here to judge you or your family. That's not my job. 00:01:21.560 --> 00:01:25.340 What I am here to do is share what the prophets have told us 00:01:25.340 --> 00:01:29.240 about families and what our obligations and responsibilities 00:01:29.240 --> 00:01:34.040 are as sons and daughters of an eternal family, sons and 00:01:34.040 --> 00:01:38.000 daughters of our Heavenly Father. So you may remember me 00:01:38.000 --> 00:01:43.480 saying this before, but it's worth repeating. It is 00:01:43.480 --> 00:01:49.060 incredibly important for us to remember that the Prophet and 00:01:49.060 --> 00:01:56.320 apostles are obligated to and responsible for teaching us what 00:01:56.320 --> 00:02:00.360 the family is supposed to look like. It's part of their 00:02:00.360 --> 00:02:05.100 calling. They are obligated to it and responsible for it. They 00:02:05.100 --> 00:02:08.700 have to teach us those things or we won't know what to strive 00:02:08.700 --> 00:02:14.520 for. The family structure had to come from somewhere. It came 00:02:14.520 --> 00:02:19.140 from our Heavenly Father. They are responsible for teaching us 00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:22.940 where it came from what it's supposed to look like and how we 00:02:22.940 --> 00:02:28.040 can get there. Also, they have to teach us those things, 00:02:28.040 --> 00:02:30.740 because that's what it's going to look like. Should we make it 00:02:30.740 --> 00:02:34.400 to the celestial kingdom? That's what our Heavenly Father's 00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:38.780 family looks like. So we shouldn't be surprised when we 00:02:38.780 --> 00:02:45.340 get there. All of that being said, my thoughts for today's 00:02:45.340 --> 00:02:49.120 episode are centered around another talk by President 00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:52.960 Kimball. This one was back in 1980 and it's called families 00:02:52.960 --> 00:02:57.820 can be eternal. I'll make sure that there's a link in the in 00:02:57.820 --> 00:03:02.340 the video description at the very beginning of his talk, he's 00:03:02.340 --> 00:03:07.440 pretty clear about his point. He says, from the beginning, the 00:03:07.440 --> 00:03:10.620 Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, has emphasized 00:03:10.620 --> 00:03:14.460 family life. We have always understood that the foundations 00:03:14.460 --> 00:03:20.120 of the family as an eternal unit were laid even before this Earth 00:03:20.120 --> 00:03:25.640 was created society without basic family life is without 00:03:25.640 --> 00:03:29.780 foundation and will disintegrate into nothingness. Therefore, 00:03:30.200 --> 00:03:33.860 whenever anything so basic as the eternal family is imperiled, 00:03:34.220 --> 00:03:38.420 we have a solemn obligation to speak out lest there be critical 00:03:38.420 --> 00:03:42.820 damage to the family institution by those who seem to be 00:03:42.820 --> 00:03:47.440 deliberately destructive of it. I think we all know who the 00:03:47.440 --> 00:03:50.620 number one culprit is for being deliberately destructive of the 00:03:50.620 --> 00:03:56.380 family, the very person who betrayed his own family before 00:03:56.380 --> 00:04:05.220 this life and is now trying to destroy our families. And you 00:04:05.220 --> 00:04:08.940 know, I had another thought as I was reading this, and I hope 00:04:08.940 --> 00:04:12.300 that I can articulate it, because I hope I can articulate 00:04:12.300 --> 00:04:19.140 it clearly it has the potential to be offensive. And I wrote it 00:04:19.140 --> 00:04:28.220 down to try and help me as a global church, we strive to be 00:04:28.220 --> 00:04:33.560 inclusive, and we should be inclusive, everyone is welcome. 00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:37.400 Something to that effect is on our church. Signs on our 00:04:37.400 --> 00:04:41.260 buildings, all are welcome. Everyone is welcome in the 00:04:41.260 --> 00:04:45.580 gospel of Jesus Christ. It doesn't matter what you look 00:04:45.580 --> 00:04:49.000 like, it doesn't matter what your circumstances. It doesn't 00:04:49.000 --> 00:04:51.880 matter what your family looks like, and it doesn't matter what 00:04:51.880 --> 00:04:55.960 kind of a circumstance your family is in, all are welcome in 00:04:55.960 --> 00:05:00.420 the Church of Jesus Christ, defending. Think the 00:05:00.420 --> 00:05:05.220 foundational and fundamental structure of the family should 00:05:05.220 --> 00:05:12.360 not cause exclusivity. In other words, while it's important to 00:05:12.360 --> 00:05:17.040 defend the core principles of family structure that should not 00:05:17.040 --> 00:05:23.480 result in excluding or marginalizing others, if you if 00:05:23.480 --> 00:05:26.960 you want to come to church and you are divorced and a single 00:05:26.960 --> 00:05:32.180 parent, please come to church. We need you there. We need your 00:05:32.180 --> 00:05:37.220 perspective. We need your voice. We need your opinions. We need 00:05:37.220 --> 00:05:42.820 you. We need you there and in another way, just because your 00:05:42.820 --> 00:05:47.440 family does not fit within the ideal family structure, that 00:05:47.440 --> 00:05:51.760 does not mean that you are not welcome or included within the 00:05:51.760 --> 00:05:56.560 church or within the gospel of Jesus Christ. If you are made to 00:05:56.560 --> 00:06:03.720 feel otherwise, it is the mistake of the people there, it 00:06:03.720 --> 00:06:07.140 is not the intention of the church or the gospel itself. 00:06:09.900 --> 00:06:15.000 President Kimball noted many of the quote, many of the social 00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:19.080 restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to 00:06:19.080 --> 00:06:23.480 shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The 00:06:23.480 --> 00:06:28.280 time will come. Remember this was in 1980 The time will come 00:06:28.280 --> 00:06:31.400 when only those who believe deeply and actively in the 00:06:31.400 --> 00:06:35.180 family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of 00:06:35.180 --> 00:06:39.920 the gathering evil around us. So let's stop and think about that 00:06:39.920 --> 00:06:42.700 for just a second because it feels contradictory to what I 00:06:42.700 --> 00:06:48.520 said right before it. Yes, divorce is not ideal, but 00:06:48.520 --> 00:06:56.680 sometimes it's necessary. Single parenting is not ideal, but 00:06:56.680 --> 00:07:01.980 sometimes it is necessary, President Kimball and any other 00:07:01.980 --> 00:07:05.700 apostle or prophet that I've come across, both as I was doing 00:07:05.700 --> 00:07:09.660 research for this, and just in general, in my life, when 00:07:09.660 --> 00:07:13.560 they're talking about defending the family, they're not saying 00:07:13.560 --> 00:07:18.660 that those necessary situations are evil, or that you are evil 00:07:18.660 --> 00:07:24.020 for being in that situation, or that you did something so 00:07:24.080 --> 00:07:28.940 critically wrong to put yourself in that situation. Now, frankly, 00:07:28.940 --> 00:07:34.580 some of you probably did. We all make mistakes, right? But not 00:07:34.580 --> 00:07:41.320 everybody did, and that is recognized, that is known. They 00:07:41.380 --> 00:07:46.300 are saying that while those necessary situations have to be 00:07:46.300 --> 00:07:50.560 the way they are, we also need to protect the foundational 00:07:50.560 --> 00:07:56.740 family structure, or our society in total, will decay to a point 00:07:56.740 --> 00:08:01.200 that we can't come back from. They are trying to protect the 00:08:01.200 --> 00:08:05.580 structure of the family as a unit of society. They are not 00:08:05.580 --> 00:08:11.400 saying you are evil because you are a single parent or you are 00:08:11.400 --> 00:08:13.920 evil because you got divorced. That's not what they're saying. 00:08:15.060 --> 00:08:18.600 Another quote from President Kimball's talk, quote, We are 00:08:18.600 --> 00:08:23.000 free to resist those moves which downplay the significance of the 00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:28.040 family and which play which play up the significance of selfish 00:08:28.100 --> 00:08:34.400 individualism, that right there, that's a president Kimball was 00:08:34.400 --> 00:08:40.840 very eloquent in his speech, that right there is kind of is 00:08:40.900 --> 00:08:45.220 the clincher is a one sentence summary of what I've been trying 00:08:45.220 --> 00:08:50.020 to say. We are free to resist those moves which downplay the 00:08:50.020 --> 00:08:54.520 significance of the family and which play up the significance 00:08:54.520 --> 00:09:00.400 of selfish individualism. We know the family to be eternal. 00:09:00.640 --> 00:09:03.840 We know that when things go wrong in the family, things go 00:09:03.840 --> 00:09:07.140 wrong in every other institution in society. That's the full 00:09:07.140 --> 00:09:11.400 quote. In that quote, he's not talking specifically about your 00:09:11.400 --> 00:09:15.300 family or my family. He's talking about how the family 00:09:15.300 --> 00:09:18.900 structure breaking down will cause other structures to break 00:09:18.900 --> 00:09:26.000 down as well. What what he's, what he's talking about in that 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:31.460 one sentence, is the difference between the family as a unit, a 00:09:31.820 --> 00:09:37.280 foundational, structural unit of society, versus the individual 00:09:37.820 --> 00:09:42.520 as a foundational, functional unit of society, 00:09:43.960 --> 00:09:48.700 you have the family, or you have the individual. So then he says 00:09:48.700 --> 00:09:51.640 this, and this one, this is a little bit long. Bear with me. 00:09:51.940 --> 00:09:56.380 He says, quote, our political institutions, parliaments, 00:09:56.380 --> 00:09:59.920 congresses and assemblies, cannot rescue us if our base. 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:05.460 Sick institution, the family is not intact. Peace treaties 00:10:05.460 --> 00:10:08.520 cannot save us when there is hostility instead of love in the 00:10:08.520 --> 00:10:13.380 home. Unemployment programs cannot rescue us when many are 00:10:13.380 --> 00:10:17.340 no longer taught how to work, or do not have the opportunity to 00:10:17.340 --> 00:10:23.300 work or the inclination, in some cases to do so. Law enforcement 00:10:23.300 --> 00:10:27.200 cannot safeguard us if too many people are willing, unwilling, 00:10:27.200 --> 00:10:29.960 sorry, if too many people are unwilling to discipline 00:10:29.960 --> 00:10:34.640 themselves or be disciplined, rising generations, who have 00:10:34.640 --> 00:10:37.880 been taught that authority and loving discipline are wrong, 00:10:38.300 --> 00:10:40.840 will not keep the Fifth Commandment honoring their 00:10:40.840 --> 00:10:44.500 fathers and mothers. How can the rising generation honor their 00:10:44.500 --> 00:10:47.020 parents if their parents have dishonored themselves, 00:10:47.380 --> 00:10:50.260 especially by breaking the Seventh Commandment? In case 00:10:50.260 --> 00:10:52.600 you're wondering, the seventh commandment is, Thou shalt not 00:10:52.600 --> 00:10:57.100 commit adultery. Okay, so now thinking about it, just 00:10:57.100 --> 00:11:01.260 logically in my brain, thinking about the family as the place 00:11:01.260 --> 00:11:06.780 where we learn things like peace, love, harmony, how to 00:11:06.780 --> 00:11:13.980 share, how to work, how to be a functioning individual. If the 00:11:13.980 --> 00:11:18.960 family is where we learn those things, then it makes total 00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:24.380 sense that the family is the is the foundational functional unit 00:11:24.380 --> 00:11:28.100 of society, versus the individual who would then just 00:11:28.100 --> 00:11:31.700 have to try and figure it out for themselves, or just do what 00:11:31.700 --> 00:11:35.780 somebody else said, or do whatever they Want and cause 00:11:35.780 --> 00:11:44.140 havoc for everyone else. And then President Kimball, as he 00:11:44.200 --> 00:11:49.720 does, lays the responsibility right where it belongs with us. 00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:54.160 He says, We genuinely welcome help, real help, from churches, 00:11:54.160 --> 00:11:56.920 schools, colleges and universities, from thoughtful 00:11:56.920 --> 00:11:59.320 men and women of every race, creed and culture, who care 00:11:59.320 --> 00:12:03.540 about the family, but as indicated earlier, if the 00:12:03.540 --> 00:12:06.300 supporting network of institutions does not function 00:12:06.300 --> 00:12:12.540 adequately, then we will do our part anyway. There is no lack of 00:12:12.540 --> 00:12:16.620 clarity in what the Lord has told us we cannot shirk. He has 00:12:16.620 --> 00:12:19.680 placed the responsibility directly where it belongs, and 00:12:19.680 --> 00:12:23.060 he holds us accountable with regard to the duties of parents 00:12:23.060 --> 00:12:26.660 to teach their children correct principles and of the need to 00:12:26.660 --> 00:12:30.200 walk uprightly before the Lord. And there is no substitute for 00:12:30.200 --> 00:12:37.460 teaching our children by the eloquence of example. So 00:12:37.460 --> 00:12:41.740 parents, we are responsible for teaching our children that is 00:12:41.740 --> 00:12:46.960 our job, like literally our job. As soon as you become a parent, 00:12:47.260 --> 00:12:51.760 you become responsible for teaching that tiny human how to 00:12:51.880 --> 00:12:56.860 walk, how to feed themselves, how to do all of the things that 00:12:56.860 --> 00:12:59.860 they cannot figure out as an individual on their own, from 00:12:59.860 --> 00:13:04.620 the day they are born, they can feed themselves right off the 00:13:04.620 --> 00:13:07.980 bat for like, a few minutes, but at some point, somebody needs to 00:13:07.980 --> 00:13:14.580 introduce solids. Somebody needs to teach them potty train them, 00:13:14.580 --> 00:13:16.860 teach them how to use the restroom, teach them how to 00:13:16.860 --> 00:13:19.800 clean up after themselves, teach them how to share with their 00:13:19.800 --> 00:13:23.420 siblings or with their friends, if only child, share with a 00:13:23.420 --> 00:13:26.420 parent, share with their friends. That is the 00:13:26.420 --> 00:13:30.020 foundational functional unit of society where all of those 00:13:30.020 --> 00:13:33.800 things are supposed to be taught and learned in the beginning. 00:13:36.320 --> 00:13:40.220 Okay, so we've been called upon to go back to President Nelson. 00:13:40.220 --> 00:13:42.880 We've been called upon to strengthen and protect children 00:13:42.880 --> 00:13:46.420 and families, and it's getting harder and harder because we're 00:13:46.420 --> 00:13:50.740 having to defend the basic family structure. But President 00:13:50.740 --> 00:13:53.680 Kimball gives us a pretty simple way to start, and this is still 00:13:53.680 --> 00:13:56.980 kind of rolling around in my brain a bit, but he says, I urge 00:13:56.980 --> 00:13:59.500 you to be diligent in recording your personal and family 00:13:59.500 --> 00:14:03.240 histories in this let us be an example to others and reap the 00:14:03.240 --> 00:14:06.120 benefits of stronger family units as we preserve our 00:14:06.120 --> 00:14:13.020 heritage. So to preserve the family as a functioning, 00:14:13.320 --> 00:14:20.780 functional, foundational, foundational, to preserve the 00:14:20.780 --> 00:14:24.920 family, we need to preserve our heritage and explain how we do 00:14:24.920 --> 00:14:30.440 things to those who follow. And apparently, right around this 00:14:30.440 --> 00:14:34.640 time, right around 1980 there was a change of schedule, like 00:14:34.640 --> 00:14:36.860 we just had that change of schedule, where we went from 00:14:36.860 --> 00:14:41.440 three hours down to two hours on Sundays. And over the last few 00:14:41.440 --> 00:14:47.020 years, quite a few, excuse me, quite a few of the quite a few 00:14:47.020 --> 00:14:50.260 meetings have just gone away. We're encouraged to have fewer 00:14:50.260 --> 00:14:54.460 meetings and spend more time with our families. Apparently, 00:14:54.460 --> 00:14:58.240 the same thing happened right around 1980 I've only heard 00:14:58.240 --> 00:15:02.100 rumors about. About how things were before then, I guess it's 00:15:02.100 --> 00:15:05.220 not rumors. They're first hand knowledge, right? Used to go to 00:15:05.220 --> 00:15:08.400 Sunday school on Tuesday and sacrament meeting on Monday, and 00:15:08.400 --> 00:15:12.060 then had Relief Society out of I don't I don't know exactly what 00:15:12.060 --> 00:15:15.000 that looked like, but apparently there was a schedule change back 00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:19.140 there, back then, too. And so President Kimball said this. He 00:15:19.140 --> 00:15:22.280 said, We hope our parents are using the added time that has 00:15:22.280 --> 00:15:25.820 come from the consolidated schedule in order to be with 00:15:25.880 --> 00:15:29.540 Teach, love and nurture their children. We hope you have not 00:15:29.540 --> 00:15:33.140 forgotten the Need for Family activity and recreation for 00:15:33.140 --> 00:15:37.100 which time is also provided. Let your love of each other, of your 00:15:37.100 --> 00:15:41.560 family, be unconditional where there are challenges. You fail 00:15:41.560 --> 00:15:47.860 only if you fail to keep trying. Please keep trying. Please keep 00:15:47.860 --> 00:15:54.640 coming. Please know that you are You are welcome. Excuse me, no 00:15:54.640 --> 00:15:58.960 matter what we want you in our churches, single parents, 00:16:01.420 --> 00:16:07.320 divorces, we want you. We need you on Sunday and any other day 00:16:07.320 --> 00:16:10.500 you feel like coming. None of our families are the same, and 00:16:10.500 --> 00:16:13.980 we need them all. We need to learn from our differences, and 00:16:13.980 --> 00:16:24.140 we need to share our strengths. That is what I uh, that's the 00:16:24.140 --> 00:16:30.740 only thing that will change the perceived culture of perfect 00:16:30.740 --> 00:16:34.040 families. That's the only thing that will change it is if 00:16:34.040 --> 00:16:36.140 everybody's there and everybody's coming and 00:16:36.140 --> 00:16:40.240 everybody's participating and everybody's just being nice to 00:16:40.240 --> 00:16:43.660 each other. There doesn't need to be judgment in sacrament 00:16:43.660 --> 00:16:46.720 meeting. That's not our job. That's the bishop's job. Let him 00:16:46.720 --> 00:16:52.480 handle it. That's somebody else's job. It's not our job to 00:16:52.480 --> 00:16:56.380 judge people who show up to our church buildings on Sunday. It's 00:16:56.380 --> 00:17:02.700 not our job. So please come. We need you. We need you there. We 00:17:02.700 --> 00:17:05.820 need your opinion. We need your voice. We need your experience. 00:17:07.680 --> 00:17:10.440 We can learn things from you that we can't learn from anybody 00:17:10.440 --> 00:17:14.400 else. So please keep trying. Thank you for being here with me 00:17:14.400 --> 00:17:18.360 today. Keep learning. Keep growing. Be of good cheer until 00:17:18.360 --> 00:17:19.980 next time. Thanks everybody.